Vampiric Vengeance
by SuperBlackdeth666
Summary: Alucard goes to the cul-de-sac looking for blood, and the Eds team up with him so they can exact revenge on the neighborhood kids.
1. The Pangs Of Bloodlust

Alucard was not in a good way. For some reason, there was a shortage of people where he lived. Evidently, other vampires had driven them away and gone after them.

Because of this, there was a shortage of human flesh and blood. Never one to take more than he needed to survive, Alucard now found himself in a predicament - there was not enough blood available to him. Clearly, there was only one solution; he had to go away somewhere - somewhere far away where there would be more people - where there'd be enough blood to satisfy him.

But he couldn't just leave without notice. He had to take this up with his master, Sir Integra Hellsing, director of the Hellsing Organization. He went up to the door to her office and knocked.

"Come in," said a voice.

Alucard went into the office and up to the desk that Integra was sitting at. "Master," he said, "I've gotta speak with you."

"Ah, Alucard. I'm glad you came!" said Integra. "You may've noticed that there's been amazingly low vampiric activity around here lately. We've been havin' it real easy, heh-heh. So what can I do for you?"

"Well actually, that's exactly why I'm here," replied Alucard. "The reason why there's been low vampiric activity is because they've driven the humans away, and have gone after them. Now I've never been one to take more than I need, but with the big shortage of humans, there's not enough blood even for _me_ to live off of!

"So anyway, normally I wouldn't ask this of you, but I need to go away for awhile - some faraway place where there'll be more humans around - a place where I can get my fill of blood until such time as the humans come back here."

"Well, you couldn't have asked at a better time," said Integra. With how slow it's been around here, we're planning on taking a vacation to Spain; we're all very excited! So while we're all there, you feel free to go where you please to quench your bloodthirst. Just try not to wreak too much havoc."

"You mean it?" asked Alucard.

"Of course!" answered Integra. "You're our organization's biggest asset. You deserve it."

"Wow, thanks," said Alucard. So anyways, I guess I'll be leaving in a second. You guys have fun in Spain. Oh, and try to keep an eye on the police girl for me, okay?"

"No problem," replied Integra. "See ya round!"

"See ya!" said Alucard. And he teleported away.

Alucard wasn't thinking of any place in particular to go to - just anywhere that he'd be able to find some human necks to bite. When he came out of teleportation, he found himself in a cul-de-sac that was totally unfamiliar to him. "Where am I?" he asked himself as he looked around.

In no time, he caught sight of something promising - a group of kids near the end of the cul-de-sac. It looked like a sale of some type - there were three boys at a makeshift vendor's stand, trying to sell products to six other kids. Alucard suddenly built up an appetite. He saw these kids as a very good supply of prey. He went up and hid behind a nearby tree. "I'm come to the perfect place!" he cackled to himself as he watched the kids, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce...


	2. From Victims To Allies

These three kids, collectively known as Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy, or the Eds for short, were trying to sell handheld TVs to these other kids.

"These ingenious devices will be able to pick up the signals from all the local broadcasting stations," explained Edd (or Double-D, as they called him, "allowing you to view your favorite shows from anywhere on the go!"

"Like in those futuristic-y movies!" said Ed.

"Now I don't know how much these things would normally cost," said Eddy, "but they'd most definitely cost a shitload, I'll tell ya that! But this - this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get your hands on this treasure for the unbelievable price of just $0.25!"

"Right on!" exclaimed an annoying bald kid called Jonny 2X4. He and the other kids eagerly paid the Eds $0.25 each, rounding out for a total of $1.50.

The kids all tried to turn on their portable TVs, but they didn't work. They all just went up into static for a few seconds before falling apart right in their hands. It turned out that those handheld TVs were just crap that the Eds had gotten from the junkyard to try and sell; this was a scam - something that the Eds were known for.

"You've ripped us off yet again, Ed-boys!" yelled a tall, foreign-born boy named Rolf.

"Dorks! We'll enjoy making you suffer!" hissed a jock named Kevin.

The Eds didn't even have time to plead for mercy before the other kids jumped them. With great anger, they beat them down with their hands and feet, which were like stones as they inflicted pain upon them. When they'd gotten it all out, they dispersed and left the Eds laying there in hurt.

Alucard, who had been watching everything, seized his chance. He teleported from his hiding place and reappeared right in front of the Eds, who gasped in shock.

Alucard taunted them; "Puny humans! You can't even sell junk just to save your life. You would never amount to anything. But it doesn't matter anyway. You are at my mercy, and your blood is mine to suck!" He bared his canine teeth at them, scaring the hell out of the Eds.

Ed was the first to run away screaming, leaving Edd and Eddy to their fate.

"B-B-But I thought vampires only c-came out at n-night!" stammered Eddy.

"I never would've fathomed the fact that vampires were even real entities," said Edd.

"Oh, we're real," replied Alucard. "And you ain't never met a vampire like me. And you never will, either!" With that, he drew his signature twin-caliber machine guns and pointed them at Edd and Eddy's faces. He saw looks of extreme fright in their faces and he enjoyed it.

Next thing they knew, they heard the sound of a chainsaw coming towards them. It was Ed. He had run to his house and gotten a chainsaw and was now trying to save his friends. "DIE, VAMPIRE!" he thundered. Then, he brought the chainsaw down into Alucard's cranium, and down through the middle of his body. Blood gushed heavily from him, and entrails and bone matter flew everywhere as Ed kept on sawing, eventually cutting Alucard completely in half along the length of his body.

The Eds all breathed easier for a second, thinking they were out of harm's way. Then, they noticed the blood - it was moving, by itself, back to the body. The two halves of his body moved back towards each other, the bones, organs, tubes, and skin reattaching. The Eds watched in confusion, which turned to horror as they realized what was happening - Alucard was regenerating! They looked on terrified as Alucard's body put itself back together.

"Fools!" he laughed when he was fully reassembled. I told you, you ain't never met a vampire like me. I can't be killed. I'm immortal! Mwa ha ha ha ha!"

The Eds lives flashed before their eyes. They thought for sure that this was the bitter end.

"However," said Alucard, "I suppose I'll give credit where credit is due. You cut me up pretty bad there. I'm sure that all you guys would make a formidable fighting force.

"It happens to us a lot," said Ed.

"Come again," said Alucard.

"Well, every time we try to operate a scam, it malfunctions and we all get pummeled by the neighborhood kids," explained Edd.

"Just for a day, we'd like for something to go right!" added Eddy.

"Wow, said Alucard, amazed. "Don't you just want to get them back for that?"

"You don't need to remind me of that!" said Eddy.

"There's just one thing," asked Edd. "Who are you?"

"My name is Alucard," said Alucard. "I'm from England. There's this group there called the Hellsing Organization who fights vampires, ghouls, and stuff like that. I fight alongside them."

"You fight against your own kind? Why?" asked Ed.

"Long story," said Alucard. "Anyway, lately other vampires have chased away the humans from where I'm from, and there's no longer enough blood there to go around. I came here in search of more humans to feed off of. Which brings me to a proposition that I have for you."

The Eds listened eagerly.

"You want revenge. I want blood," said Alucard. How's about we team up? Together, we can make it happen! Whaddya say?"

Eddy thought for a second, then asked, "What's in it for us?"

Alucard held up a $20 bill and answered, "20 American dollars between the three of you to start with, plus 10 for every human we kill."

Eddy looked at his friends, who nodded their approval. "Deal!" he said as he took the money and shook Alucard's hand.

"Excellent!" said Alucard. But first things first - you're gonna need these.

Alucard unveiled three machine guns just like the two he pulled earlier, and gave one to each Ed.

"Cool," said Ed.

"This is overly dangerous, but I'm in," added Edd.

"This is so cool!" exclaimed Eddy.

"Alright, that'll do," said Alucard, who was raring to go. "So, you do you think should go first?"

"Oh, I think I know just who to start with..!" cackled Eddy.


	3. Pathway To Revenge

A very young, effeminate boy named Jimmy was resting comfortably in his home. Though he was considered "weak," he too also beat up on the Eds as well. He had just stuffed his stomach full of cookies and milk, and now, satisfied with what had happened to the Eds, he was now relaxing, practically half-asleep.

He was scared half to death when his front door was beaten on and eventually knocked down. When he saw the Eds at the doorway, a smug grin appeared on his face. "You up for Round 2?" he snickered.

"As a matter of fact, we are!" said Eddy.

"Remember when you framed us?" exclaimed Edd. "You got us beat for transgressions we didn't even commit. Now it's all gonna travel back around!"

"Heh!" chuckled Jimmy, who was obviously not intimidated. "I don't have to worry about that. I'll just call Sarah!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," warned Ed.

"Oh, like you're gonna do anything about it," scoffed Jimmy sarcastically. He turned and reached for the phone, Suddenly a loud bang went off, and just like that, the phone was blown apart. Jimmy looked back and shuddered as he saw the Eds pointing big guns at him.

"He told you so," sneered Eddy. "Oh, Alucard?"

Alucard appeared from outside the doorway and stood by the Eds as he pointed both his guns at Jimmy. Jimmy writhed in horror as he saw him and screamed, "V-VA-V-VAMPIRE!"

"You weakling!" laughed Alucard. "You, a boy, need protection from a girl? And what's up with that whiny voice? You sound worse than Justin Bieber. And I bet that you masturbate while listening to his music. Heh, even if you did survive this conflict, you'd never get laid. But, you're about to die, anyways, so..."

Jimmy frantically reached into his pocket and threw out 6 quarters, which landed at the Eds' feet. He pleaded, "Take all my money! Just don't kill me! I'll never lay a finger on you ever again! PLEASE SPARE ME!"

"Hmm, tempting," said Edd, right before shouting to his comrades, "FIRE!"

Ed, Edd, Eddy, and Alucard all opened fire on Jimmy, who was totally defenseless. Bullets tore through every part of his body, tearing up his insides, and blood spewed out all over the place. After taking many rounds, he collapsed like a common rag doll, his body twitching, coughing, still alive, but just barely.

"Right then," said Alucard as he handed the Eds a $10 bill. "Here's your $10. Now then..." He walked over and stood over Jimmy, who was just barely hanging onto life. He enjoyed the sight for awhile, then he pointed a gun to Jimmy's head and said, "Have fun in hell, you little faggot!" And he pulled the trigger and did the deed.

"Uh, why did you kill him before drinking his blood?" asked Ed.

"Because otherwise he'd turn into a super-vampire, and then he couldn't be killed," explained Alucard.

"Ohh, that makes sense," the Eds all said.

Alucard then proceeded to drink what blood was still inside Jimmy's dead body, as well as the blood that was splattered around the room. Meanwhile, the Eds took time to relax and reload their guns They also picked up the quarters that Jimmy had thrown at their feet.

When Alucard had drank all the blood, he turned to the Eds and asked, "You guys ready to do that again?"

The Eds nodded eagerly. "And I know just whose next!" said Eddy.

They all went to the playground, where Jonny 2X4 was playing. They hid behind a tree for a short time and watched. Then, Alucard came out of hiding and allowed himself to be spotted.

Jonny looked at Alucard and was amazed. "Cool, a vampire!"

Alucard smiled vainly and said, "That's what I am."

"How ya doin?" said Jonny. "I'm Jonny 2X4, and this is my best friend Plank." He held up a wooden board with a drawn smiley face on it.

In an instant, Alucard drew his gun and fired a shot that blasted Plank out of Jonny's hand and into Oblivion.

"OH MY GOD, YOU KILLED PLANK, YOU BASTARD!" cried Jonny.

"He's not gonna be the only one dead!" snickered Alucard as the Eds emerged from hiding with their guns drawn.

"You're a crazy pathetic fool, who has an imaginary friend because you don't have any real friends," taunted Alucard. "But you're gonna be put out of that misery...permanently!"

"And you'll know how we felt!" yelled Ed.

"Oh come guys!" Jonny said as he backed away scared. "Surely we can talk about this, work something out or-." Those were his last words. Alucard and the Eds fired their machine guns. Jonny's blood and guts came spewing out and flew all over the playground as the bullets ripped him apart. All of his organs, including his heart and brains, were reduced to mush and he fell to the ground. He was dead.

"Another one bites the dust," intoned Alucard.

"And another one gone, and another one gone. Another one bites the dust," sang the Eds.

"Hey! He's gonna get you too. Another one bites the dust!" Alucard and the Eds all sang. They all had a laugh. Alucard gaves the Eds their $10. Then he gathered up all the splattered blood and drank it.

"Uh, guys, that Alucard guy creeps me out," said Ed.

"Well, he certainly does display very sadistic tendencies," replied Edd.

"Whatever kind of guy he is," Eddy explained, he's a great help to us! We're getting a back at the kids, and we're getting rich! That's what counts!"

"Well, we trust you," said Edd. :But he's still scary."

The Eds went and took the money from Jonny's pockets. Alucard finished the blood and asked the Eds, "Who's next?"


	4. Blood Mine

Rolf, the weird foreign boy was hard at work out on his farm. He was busy tending to his turnips. Around him, his farm animals were grazing or cleaning themselves.

Ed, Edd, Eddy, and Alucard were hiding behind a nearby fence, watching and waiting. Alucard's mouth began to water uncontrollably.

"Uh, why is your mouth salivating so much," Edd asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?" said Alucard. This boy, with all these farm animals - it's like a real honest-to-god blood mine?

"That makes sense even to me," said Ed.

"Alright, here's what we're gonna do," explained Alucard. "You stay here while I do in the animals. Then, when I have that kid in submission, you guys come out, and we'll do the deed together."

"Sounds good to me!" Eddy said enthusiastically.

Rolf was still tending to his turnips when his animals all started crying out hysterically, accompanied by the sound of gunfire. He turned around and couldn't believe what he saw. A creature wearing a cape and wielding machine guns was shooting and killing all of his animals. Blood and other fluids flew spurted everywhere and body parts were sent flying. Rolf's goat, Victor, tried to attack him, but he pointed his guns and riddled his body with bullets and reduced him to a pile of fluids, organs, and bone matter.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Rolf cried out in a rage.

Alucard pointed his machine guns at Rolf's head and replied, "Heh! Living in the past. That's a very fine way to live, I say sarcastically. It's no wonder you're not getting everywhere in this country, since you're too proud to assimilate. And as for the meaning of this..."

Ed, Edd, and Eddy all came out of hiding and pointed their own guns at Rolf's heart. "The tables have turned!" Edd intoned.

Rolf started to cry and beg for mercy; "Oh, please guys! I'll never hurt you again! I'll even give half my allowance to you!"

"SLEEP NOW IN THE FIRE!" the Eds all replied. And with that, Alucard and all of them fired their guns, ripping through Rolf's flesh and vital organs and cutting him up limb from limb. His brains oozed out from his head as his body collapsed on the floor in a pile of its own gore. Alucard fired some more rounds, and in a moment, Rolf was dead.

"Oh my fucking God, I am going to _love_ this!" Alucard said delightfully as he handed the Eds another $10. He then went around the farm (what was left of it), and consumed the entire bloodbath. He practically had an orgasm inside of him as he drank. When he was done, he was more hyped up than ever.

"Oh man, I feel great!" Alucard said. I feel like I could challenge the world to battle! You guys know who you want to get next, 'cause I'm rarin' to go!"

"You guys go on," Ed said quietly. "There's something I must take care of on my own."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Alucard asked.

"Relax," said Edd. "I think I know exactly what Ed is referring to."

"Go get her, big guy!" Eddy encouraged him.

And so Ed went off on his own..for the time being.


	5. Fratricidal Maniac

Ed went back to his house, not to rest, but to make a killing on his own. The target: his own younger sister, a little brat named Sarah. She was Jimmy's playmate (and she had no knowledge of his demise), but unlike him, she was as fierce as a fighting dog. Not only had she beaten the hell out of the Eds in the past, but she had had Ed at her mercy for years. Now, thought Ed, those days would be over.

He crept up the staircase and across the hall towards Sarah's room. Inside, Sarah was having fun playing tea party with her dolls. Then, the door came crashing down. She looked and saw Ed standing there, with a sinister look on his face.

"Hello, my sister!" he croaked.

This made Sarah furious. "ED! Get out of my room, nimrod!" she screamed. She got a baseball bat and waved it at Ed.

Ed responded by drawing his machine gun and pointing it at Sarah. "Now it is your turn to be at my mercy," he growled.

Sarah backed up against the wall in fright. Ed walked towards her while saying, "Do you have any idea? Do you even know what I felt like with you? You were so damn mean to me, you treated me like a pile of dog feces, and you never let me have any fun! I'd say you were going to hell for it all, but you're much to low even for that place."

Suddenly, Sarah grew outraged. She took her bat and tried to hit Ed over the head, but he was to fast. Ed pulled the trigger and the bullets flew. In no time at all, what was once a sanctuary for dolls, tea parties, and all things girly, was now a bloodbath. The gunfire had reduced Sarah, a lean mean bitchy machine, into a broken, bleeding carcass left to fester.

Ed stared at the body for a moment, triumph flowing through his veins. He started to leave, but then, curiosity got the better of him. He went up to the body, and scooped up some blood with his hands. He looked at it for a second, then took a sip. To his surprise, the blood actually tasted good. He drank the rest of the blood in his hands. Then, satisfied with himself, he left to rejoin the others, who were setting up for another kill...


	6. Killed In Love

Kevin, the jock, and Nazz, the popular girl, were in Kevin's bed, making out. Their moist lips sucked on each other and their tongues probed each other's mouths. At the same time, they were petting each other's half-naked bodies with their hands. They were both very aroused.

After resting for a moment, Nazz said to Kevin, "So, are we going to do it?"

"What do you mean?" asked Kevin.

"You know..." replied Nazz.

"Really? Well, OK, then," said Kevin.

Their half-naked bodies became completely naked, and in an instant, Kevin was inside Nazz, thrusting back and forth, harder and harder, feeling more intense sensations with each thrust. After about a minute, Kevin climaxed while Nazz experienced multiple orgasms. At that exact moment, the door burst in. Kevin and Nazz looked in surprise as the Eds stood there with twisted looks on their faces.

"GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, DORKS!" screamed an outraged Kevin.

"Who you callin' a dork, dick?" Eddy replied smugly.

Kevin growled and grabbed a sawed-off shotgun from under the bed, cocked it, pointed it at the Eds and yelled, "Get out of here or I'll blow your brains out!"

The Eds drew their machine guns and replied, "Oh, really?" The two sides stood, with their guns pointed, not firing. "Alucard?" called Ed, and in a swirl of dark mist, Alucard appeared, with both his guns drawn.

Kevin and Nazz both screamed – they were now truly terrified.

Alucard laughed and said, "You know, this is kind of like that horror movie cliché where we kill an immoral couple having sex. Actually, immoral doesn't begin to describe low-life preps and jocks like yourselves. Whatever, you're about to die, anyways."

Nazz went to hide on the floor, across the other side of the bed. Kevin pointed his shotgun at Alucard's chest and fired. The shell opened up a sizable hole in Alucard's chest, but he quickly regenerated it. As Kevin looked at this, petrified, the Eds and Alucard fired upon him, sending high-pressure blood from his body all across the room until each and every last drop of it had escaped his body, he moaned one last time, fell over and died.

As Alucard began to drink the blood, the Eds went to the other side of the bed and surrounded Nazz, who was still curled up in the fetal position on the floor. They grabbed her, stripped off all her clothes, and laid her down face-up. The Eds all stripped off their own clothes, turned her onto her side, and gathered around her. She just lay there, too petrified to resist.

"Sorry it had to happen this way," the Eds all said. And then, with great force, they plunged their erect penises into all of Nazz's holes; Eddy got the pussy, Ed got the ass, and Edd got the mouth. Nazz was screaming, and Alucard was laughing hysterically as the Eds continued to thrust forcefully, rupturing the insides of her holes. By the time they orgasmed and let her go, she was experiencing so much trauma that she couldn't move, speak, or comprehend anything.

"Care to do the honors?" Edd asked Alucard. Alucard enthusiastically went over, pointed a gun at Nazz's face, enjoyed the moment for a few seconds, and then fired the shot that sealed the deal. Alucard then gave the Eds their $10 and sucked on the bullet hole in Nazz's face, sucking all the blood from her body.

When Alucard finished, Ed said, "Uh, can we ask you something?"

"Yeah, what is it?" replied Alucard.

"Who are you, exactly?" said Eddy. "And why do you, a vampire, serve us humans?"

Alucard was silent for a second, then spoke, "Well, first of all, I'm Dracula?"

"Huh?" the Eds said.

"It's true. I am, in fact, the Dracula that Bram Stoker wrote about. My name Alucard happens to be Dracula spelled backwards."

"Wow," said Edd. So why did you pledge your loyal allegiance to the human race?"

"And I thought you were staked in the chest and killed!" said Ed.

"Actually," said Alucard, "while I was staked in the chest, I wasn't killed. But they had me at their mercy, so I decided to willingly serve them in order for them to spare my life. That's how I became a part of the Hellsing Organization. Fortunately, I'm still able to feed when I have to, although today I've been WAY more gluttonous than normal. Plus I enjoy taking out the scumbags who give the supernatural a bad name – I'm talking to you Edward Cullen and Jacob Black! So, yeah, it's been a good life for me overall."

"Wow," the Eds replied.

"I know, right?" said Alucard. "So, I guess that does it for the cul-de-sac kids?"

"Actually," said Eddy, "there are these white trash bitches who live in the trailer park who have insane crushes on us and fuck up our scams and try to kiss us and shit. They've got to go!"

"Alright," said an excited Alucard. "Let's do it!"

"Alright!" the Eds cheered. And so they all headed to the trailer park to make the kills that would complete their vampiric vengeance...


	7. Coerced Karma

They arrived at the trailer park. The trailers all just sat there; nothing was happening. Eddy pointed out the Kankers' trailer to Alucard.

"OK guys, here's what we're gonna do," said Alucard. "You guys take my hands, and we're all gonna teleport into that trailer together. I think that would be a rather warm welcome!"

"That's sounds weird, but OK," Edd said. They all took Alucard's hands.

"OK, ready?" said Alucard. "1, 2, 3…"

….

Inside, the Kanker sisters were sitting down, watching the new _Fish Bowl_ movie. It was nothing new, and they were all bored.

Suddenly, a cloud of purple haze appeared right in front of them. They all looked at each other, perplexed. What was going on here? Suddenly, they became delighted when their "boyfriends" appeared amidst the haze.

"IT'S OUR BOYFRIENDS!" the Kankers all squealed.

At that moment, another figure emerged from the haze. He was tall, dark, and very scary, bestowing a malicious look on his face.

"Who the hell are you?" Lee Kanker asked, shocked.

"Yeah, you'd like to know that, wouldn't you?" said Alucard as he and the Eds drew and pointed their guns.

"W-What is going on here?" May Kanker cried out.

"Clearly, you cannot comprehend the meaning of the word 'no'," said Edd. "You female dogs sicken us!"

"It ends here!" Ed intoned.

"You must be so desperate," said Alucard, "going after the same guys constantly. It's not like you'd ever get with anyone, _ever_! Your sex appeal is about the same as a steaming pile of horse shit! Oh well, it doesn't matter, because you're about to-"

"Wait! Let's not do it right away," Eddy broke in. I know what to do!" He and his companions all huddled up and he told his plan…

They broke the huddle. The Kankers tried to escape, but the Eds beat them down with their guns. They beat them long and hard, until they were in too much pain to even get up. Then, the Eds stripped them of their clothes, and took off their own clothes as well. As they crawled over them, Eddy taunted, "Relax! This is what you wanted all along, right?" And with that, he, Edd, and Ed penetrated the Kankers' insides with brute force, pushing harder and harder making it more and more painful for the Kankers to endure. It got worse and worse, until the Eds climaxed. Then, they would meet their ultimate demise;

The Eds got up and put their clothes back on. Then, Alucard walked over to the battered, broken Kanker sisters and pointed his guns at them. "Sweet dreams!" he cackled as he pulled the triggers. The bullets flew, ripping up their bodies and throwing blood every-which-where. Guts leaked out the floor too as the Kankers took their last breaths…

As the Eds took time to rest up, Alucard gave them $30, one for each kill, and then went on his last feeding frenzy. He drank all the blood, and then, as a final celebratory act, ate all of the viscera as well. And it tasted better than any blood he'd ever had.

When he was done, he turned to the Eds and said, "So, I guess we're just about done here."

"Not quite," said Eddy. "We have $100, thanks to you. Now, what do we do with all this money..?"


	8. Closure

The next day, a semi-truck pulled up into the cul-de-sac. It dropped off a massive shipment- a massive shipment of Jawbreakers. The Eds all ecstatically ran up to the boxes of Jawbreakers and were drooling like crazy.

Alucard was confused. "You spent $100 on candy?"

"Of course," said Edd.

"That's what we've been trying to get all this time," replied Eddy.

"Butter toast!" Ed jumped in.

"Hmm, well, interesting," Alucard said as he as he and the Eds gathered round.

Alucard said to them, "Wow, well I really enjoyed fighting with you guys. You're probably the best warriors I've ever had fight alongside me…oh! I have one more offer for you- how would you like to become honorary members of the Hellsing Organization? Together, we can fight evil vampires and werewolves and monsters and-"

"No thanks!" said Eddy. We have what we want, and we're happy." Edd and Ed nodded.

"Damn, that's a shame!" replied Alucard.

"Say Alucard," asked Edd, "has your bloodthirst been quenched, at least?"

"Are you kidding?" Alucard answered. "With all the blood and guts I've taken in, I won't have to feed again for a long time! Hell, I may join the rest of the Organization on their vacation in Spain."

"That's great!" said Edd. "Have fun!"

"Oh, believe me, I will!" Alucard chuckled as he shook hands with the Eds.

Alucard then said, "Well, it looks like our missions are complete. It really has been loads of fun. And so, with that, and the hope that we'll meet again someday, I bid you all farewell."

"Good-bye!" the Eds all said as Alucard teleported away.

The Eds sat down and took a moment to think about their friend. Then, their appetites got the better of them. They opened one of the boxes of Jawbreakers, took some out, and began to eat. Now, having reached closure with the other kids, and having all the Jawbreakers they could eat, they had finally achieved their solace.

**THE END**


End file.
